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Plan to be 100

Posted 7 years 31 days ago ago by Danielle Streed

As more and more individuals are living well into their 80's, 90's and almost 100, there are many issues that need to be discussed, based on the fact that many of these marriages are second marriages with children from prior marriages.  I recently read an article about a couple who both lost their spouses and married late in life and ultimately ended up being married in a second marriage for over 20 years.  It appeared from everything that had gone on that both families liked each other and both were in agreement that the parents were their number one concern.  Unfortunately, when the wife went into a more extensive care facility than her husband, the husband’s children from his first marriage stepped forward and informed the family that it was not their father’s obligation to pay for their mother’s long term care and that their father had promised them an inheritance.    It appears from the facts that the husband’s children started to create problems and doubt in their father’s mind as to his wife’s loyalties or his stepchildren’s loyalties.  Ultimately the wife’s children received a complaint for divorce well after the couple was in their early 90's.  As we all know, dementia is a horrible disease and going through a court process can be not only emotionally painful and cumbersome, but also financially exhausting.  It can tear marriages apart and it can tear families apart.  If you are involved in a second marriage and have come into the marriage with your own separate funds, it is extremely important that as a couple and as a family you discuss your intent.  Is it your intent to provide for your spouse regardless of the cost?  Is it your intent to keep your money as separate as possible and provide an inheritance for your children of your first marriage?  Hoping that the family will know your wishes or agree on your wishes is too much to ask for.  It needs to be in writing and it needs to be discussed openly.

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